Be Who You Are

I'm captivated by the concept of being our most "authentic" self. What does it mean? How do you "be" who you are? Shouldn't it come naturally to you?

No, not really. Not at all, actually...

Maybe that was true in the very beginning when you first got here.

... you know, before you felt the influence of others, the judgment, the rejection...
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I picture it as a process of getting layered, experience after experience, moment after moment, with a heaviness that blocks us.

You are under the weight of fear, shame, judgment, and other oppressive feelings.

The layering is actually beliefs that we (subconsciously) take on from experiences we have.

For example, if your parent rejected or abused you when you were young, you will most definitely come to believe some gnarly things about yourself, the world, relationships, love, your worth, safety.

This will IMPRINT you, leave you with an impression from which you'll build more experiences on. We would call this PATTERNS. You experience something, it creates an understanding within you (imprint), and then more experiences like it fill in that gap, one after another, reaffirming that imprint.
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It can become one deep, dark, can't-find-your-way-out kind of groove.

The imprints happen early on for all of us, and we build everything on top of all of those imprints.
The life you live now is a reflection of it.

So, what were YOU imprinted with?

...and how is it negatively impacting you in the now?

... how is it block you from being who you really are, shining your light, doing what most calls you?

...
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Here are some ways you can help yourself discard these layers, reconnect with your inner truth, and find more freedom to be who you are...

1) Reclaiming Your Power

Do you believe in yourself and your ability to create your life? Or are you looking for answers outside of you, for something to fix you or save you?
We've spent so long looking to other people for validation that we've severed ourselves from our inner knowing, our personal truth, and wind up way out in left field feeling even more confused and lost.
To practice reclaiming your power, affirm to yourself that you CAN, you WILL, you DO instead of you CAN'T, you don't know HOW, you WON'T. 
When you catch yourself framing things as your LACK (lack of ability, lack of worth, lack of power, etc.), check that shit real fast and reframe it. 
Sometimes we need help with this, so get it! This is one aspect I focus on the most with my patients and clients.

2) Be with You

What's it like to hang out with yourself? Do you like it? 
If you don't, there's a problem here. You won't be able to access who you are (and trust me, you REALLY want to because it's everything you've been looking for) if you don't spend quality time with yourself.
I love being with myself, but I didn't always. It took time to create that relationship. 
Meditation was really helpful. Self-compassion was the most helpful. Refusing to believe thoughts that told me I wasn't good enough was a huge one. 
There are so many doorways that open as ways back home to yourself. Start knocking.
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3) Stop Making Yourself Wrong

​Self-rejection is the biggest internally dividing force.
It separates you from your power and the truth of who you are.
Every time you make something about you wrong (i.e. I'm wrong for feeling this way, I'm wrong for being where I am in life, I'm wrong for my past mistakes), you just hammer down another heavy layer of pain on yourself. YOU DON'T DESERVE THAT.

You deserve forgiveness. You deserve understanding. You deserve love. You deserve acceptance.
You would likely NEVER treat someone the way you treat yourself. 
What aren't you letting yourself be? What mean bullshit are you saying about yourself?
If you could see that dropping THAT is the REAL way, the SURE way, to be happier and who you really are, you'd be hell-fucking-bent on figuring out how to do it.

about Dr. Cailin