This is for those times when you feel confused, unclear, indecisive, stuck... and it revs up your anxiety.
Let's talk about what to do when you don’t know what to do, what next step to take, what direction to go, what to choose.
Those feelings do suck. They feel unshakeable, and they’re so compelling. One thought after the next that convinces you that you should freak the fuck out...
It’s a battle that you feel like you can’t win. And if you're like me, you then also may think you might screw up the beautiful unfolding of your life by not knowing what to do...
You know what I'm talking about...
It's like no matter what you do or read or try or journal, you can't find your way out of it.
You just CAN'T get clear.
What I want to remind you of is this...
Some part of you IS clear, and some part of you DOES know.
When you feel confused, some part of you remains clear.
It can feel really off, though, because feeling confused, indecisive and stuck can make you ALSO feel like you don't know who you are.
I'm here to remind you that you do, and it's ok.
Often when we're in these kinds of feelings, we're in a transition- our ground is shaking; we're at a pivotal point. Everything is being called into question. We can stay in that state for minutes or years.
But here's something that I find really helpful to remember...
You are being guided.
No matter how confused or unsure or fearful or doubtful you may be, there is a part of you, the steady unwavering soul part of you, that isn't fearful or doubtful.
It's the part of you who knows and is guiding you.
Even in my darkest times, there have been the biggest miracles.
So one thing I've come to learn to do when I feel this way is to ASK for guidance.
I ask out loud. I ask on the new moon or (whatever the hell the moon is doing at the time).
I ask in the morning. I ask in journaling. I ask in my heart.
And then I try my best to let it go.
And you know what happens?
I feel the smallest bit better, first of all. And second, the signs start to trickle in.
For example, maybe I'll do a tarot reading, and it's spot on.
Maybe a friend reaches out to me with what I need to hear.
Maybe I find a penny under a tree at the park when I'm walking my dog.
It's like breadcrumbs on the trail keeping me going.
(side note: don't get obsessed with this and wonder what every "sign" means, though. Just nod your head in appreciation and let it keep revealing itself to you.)
This helps me to remember that:
Even at my worst, I am still available for guidance, I am STILL being led.
We're allowed to have TERRIBLE days. We're allowed to not know what the fuck to do.
And we can still TRUST that we are moving in the direction of our deepest dreams, a better life, things working out in beautiful ways.
So ask for guidance. Let it come. And give yourself some rest.
Dr. Cailin O'Hara is a passionate provider, mentor, and forever student of life here to translate her experiences into hope, wisdom and light.