Should you get back with your ex?
What has happened? Why are you in this position?
Likely, the relationship didn’t work for some reason (or many) and so it ended.
And now, you are reconnecting. And OH, the chemistry of that!
How it feels to see another chance, the hope it inspires, the potential yet again reignited…
It’s the fairytale feeling that things really do work out after all.
Let's dive in (and check out my podcast on it).
PODCAST Getting Back with Your Ex
Take a listen to my podcast where I go deep on this. Some highlights are below.
It's about timing...
My main point is this: it’s not over til it’s over.
But once it is, you know it.
AND it's none of our business when that timing is for anyone or anything else. We can't judge other people for the time they take in a relationship… or for any other process of their life. We all have our own timing, our own lessons to be learned, and we aren’t ready to split until we are ready.
Making things "work"...
We all have a tendency in life to try to make things work- the square peg, round hole kind of thing. We are not super familiar with easy- with things being easy, with letting it be easy, with letting go of what's hard and moving toward ease. We are conditioned to look at problems and to try to solve them. Listen in to hear me talk more about this.
If you feel drained, confused, exhausted, like you’re back-bending to oblivion, trying really, really, really hard… I’d check in with yourself. Why do you believe this is ok? Do you believe this is what you deserve? What are you looking for and how can you give to yourself? Are you listening to yourself? Are you trusting yourself? Are you honoring yourself? Are you being loved, respected, nurtured or not?
No matter what, you are learning A LOT in your relationships, and that's a good thing!
But, some red flags to consider:
It's abusive (on any level, it's not worth it). It's manipulative. It's sucking the life out of you. It's controlling you. You can't relax and be yourself. You feel confused most of the time. You have a hard time telling how you feel. You often feel like you're walking a tightrope. Your partner isn't taking an active role in nurturing the relationship. You feel misunderstood and are often defending yourself.
What else would you add? I explore this in the episode.
I'll be doing an entire series about relationships on my podcast, so follow along. ❤️
Dr. Cailin O'Hara is a passionate provider, mentor, and forever student of life here to translate her experiences into hope, wisdom and light.